


The Collision of Kisses and Flames

by Emejig16



Series: 2014 Drabbles [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, First Person, M/M, vague breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 05:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emejig16/pseuds/Emejig16
Summary: An inner monologue about heartbreak.





	The Collision of Kisses and Flames

**A/N** : So I sent Skyler a one word prompt for her to write a fic based off of, and they did the same to me, so here that is. This is very strange and weird and kind of not my usual style of writing but let’s go with it okay? 

**Destitute** **: “Without the basic necessities of life (destitute of - not having)**

* * *

 

Life is fragile; every moment is a precious gossamer that can be torn at any give second, tearing apart the once perceived resilience to anything that could be thrown in your way or any problem that you could face.

I guess the fine sheet of fabric that enveloped my entire being was a bit thinner than everyone else’s; probably already torn too. I suppose it’s why I cling to people. I need that support from another person to mend my tears and maintain the light ethereal feel that comes with a passionate soul.

But you can’t do that because people will destroy further and leave you in more pieces than can be put back together in anything beautiful ever again.

His name was Phil.

The name is currently ripping me apart and causing me to tangle even more. I put everything that was left of me in him, and in trying to delicately tailor me back together his hand slipped.

I trusted him so much and he’s betraying me. I don’t even think he knows; he doesn’t. All I need is a little trust and passion and he is taking that away from me.

It’s not fair; all I wanted was one person, just one person to tell me that I could be whole again and that I could always trust to keep me going and he’s leaving.

He’s telling me I’m ” _too clingy"_ and “ _too needy_.”

In my eyes through his words I am an obligation to him as opposed to the partnership I thought we were, where we mend each other. I guess I am wrong.

In the end, when you’re standing in front of total annihilation, the kisses don’t matter. Same with the warm hugs where you would support my trembling frame, yet hold onto the loose thread, ready to pull when you finally decide you’ve had enough. 

All of it gets incinerated in a fiery blaze of betrayal.

I didn’t think the day would come but here it is.

I’m looking at you and you’re speaking to me, but you’re talking to a brick wall sweetheart. You’re muffles in my ears, and all I know is that I can barely breathe. I think I’m crying right now, but I don’t know. These don’t feel like real tears smoldering down my face, but rather like gasoline is being poured on me.

“ _I’m sorry Dan."_

No you’re not. You wouldn’t be setting me on fire and leaving me that way if you did.

A pitiful kiss goodbye on the cheek is all you’re giving me? No real apology? Not even a kit to put myself back together or maybe some water to douse this inflamed being?

Fine.

It’s _okay_. I think I understand, but all I know is that I think I am _okay_.

I know I’m frayed, have holes where you burned through, and that I am a mismatched patchwork of lost passions and trust, but it’s all  _okay._

I am tattered garment and I _am_ taking back the life you stole.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written in November of 2014.
> 
> A/N: Destitue of trust is what I was going for from Dan’s mind as Phil is telling him that their relationship just isn’t working out. Dan has tuned out Phil’s words because he doesn’t want to believe it, all he can hear is the sound of fabric being ripped and the sound of a crackling fire.


End file.
